Black Love "Defined"
(Art courtesy of David Nwaigwe)
Is Black Love a noun, verb or an adjective? It can be seen as a thing, a perception of love that is sought after by those in the black community. Action wise, it can be used to show appreciation from one melanin-housing being to another. Or, it can simply describe a type of affection that has no true definitive quality other than attributing to the word “love” and making it specific for a particular group of people. Before this gets too deep, let us begin by attempting to define the term.
Inspiring. Beautiful. Complicated. These are some words that could be used to describe Black Love, however, these words could be listed differently depending on the person; and that is okay. The reason there is no dictionary page number to reference or concrete answer to quote is Black Love is undefined. Now before you turn away from this article for “misleading you” consider this, how would one go about defining such a thing. People are vastly different so naturally all persons of color are different. There is no cookie-cutter standard of what Black Love looks like and if you search for it, visually, images of contrasting couples are bound to appear; but is their pigmentation what leads you to label their particular love as Black Love?
Being as we are in season of love, here some suggestive categories to examine within your own life and some tips on how you can enhance them this Valentine’s Day:
5 Areas of Love to Love:
Self-Love/Appreciation – The most important person with whom you should share your love with is yourself! It is easy to get caught up in how society views you and may consider your make-up inferior, but you must learn to appreciate every ounce of your being, including your blackness. Find a moment to look in the mirror today and tell yourself you are worthy of love and that you love yourself. It may sound silly, but for some people that can be a real challenge. In addition to verbally telling yourself you love you, allot yourself some time to be disconnected from others and show yourself love in whatever way you see fit. Whether it be putting a little more effort in choosing your outfit, writing a love letter to yourself or buying that item you had your eye on, go for it. You deserve it!
Parental Love – Your parents (however you define parents) can be a source of love that is incomparable to others. In many cases, your parent(s) is the first person to teach/show you what love is. Without recognizing it, you take those lessons and use them to shape your understanding of what love is understood to be or how you perceive it be. Today, in addition to telling you parent(s) you love them, tell them something they taught you about love. Sharing that thought with them may surprise them and even spark a dialogue that results in them telling you what you taught them about love.
Relationship(s) Love – Whether it is romantic or platonic, the love within a relationships a can one of the most impactful form of love on one’s life. People are constantly learning what they will and will not take from others and ultimately what they expect from loving relationships. As a token of your love today, remind those you have relationships with why they love and the intimacy you share is so important to you. Feel free to share how their love has impacted you and helped you to grow.
Community Love - One element that could be linked to Black Love is the unique sense of unity and uplifting spirit that it represents, therefore, the love you experience within the communities you engage in serves a meaningful purpose in your life. Also, while you serve in these communities, you add the richness of the culture created among all who partake in it. Just smiling at someone you are in class with or live next door to can change their entire day and exemplify a surface level love they may not see all the time. Send a note, or message, to someone within your community that inspires you and you want to express your love for.
Spiritual Love - Whether a person believes in a higher being or not, faith is a common quality to many people look to as they go through their everyday life. The love and satisfaction that coincides with an in tuned spirituality is one that could be linked with self-love but is separated because it consists of being out of one’s self. This particular love is based on trust and vulnerability to external factors influencing one’s life. To start your day or end your day, make time to meditate and get out of yourself. Use this time to listen to how you should be leading your life and any possibly changes you should make in order to reach your purpose.
It goes without saying that love, whether Black Love or not, is defined based on the person giving the definition. Arguably, a label such as Black Love does not need to exist to define a certain view on love. However you chose to “define” this phrase or leave it undefined, just keep in mind there are areas of love that require attention and up keeping.
Personally, I see Black Love as a term that stem from the deep rooted history of the romantic relationship between the Black Man and the Black Woman. It is seen as its own category because this view of love, or standard of love, is often attacked by statistics, societal boundaries and unresolved complications from the past. There is a strength and beauty in seeing these Black Love couple defy the odds and challenge the norm.
Overall love is love, but even love can have is subcategories.
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Twitter: @ShannonNia
New York City, New York
